Hard boiled eggs - Allergen information: contains eggs.
Before and after tequila - Booze makes everyone beautiful.
Fat pig chocolate - Shove every single square in your face right now.
Damn - Shitfaced Mondays are canceled.
Thank you Captain Obvious! - Do not use. Will not hold pressure.
Babygirl - I think I'm in love. I hope it's not photoshopped.
WoW knight - I know this guy. He's level 17 paladin.
Smiley at Wal-Mart - It's always nice to see a happy face.
Attention laptop owners! - Avoid costly repairs. Protect your computer.
Obama buttons - My middle name is Hussein.
That's right sweetheart - Dreams and goals are Satan's way of distracting you from making dinner.
Potatoes - That's how I carry around food.
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